ENG 162 Fall 2013

ENG 162 at Eastern Maine Community College in Bangor ME, taught by John A. (Don't ever, ever ask!) Goldfine johngoldfine@gmail.com

Saturday, November 09, 2013

A risky piece

I am an English teacher. All English teachers lie. But I am telling you the truth.

My date with an english teacher...

He said...
So tell me about yourself, your life, your history and past experiences but I don't want to know everything. Tell me too much and I'm bored, tell me too little and I'm hungry.

She said...
What do you want me to say?

He said...
I can't tell you what to say. I'm not you. You are you. If I were you, I wouldn't ask because I'd already know.

How's your dinner?

She said...
It's good. The steak is...

He said...
Don't use so many too many adjectives describing it too me. You can tell me without telling me. Telling me all about it gives it away.

Can I kiss you goodnight?

She said...
Yes.

He said...
Don't just say yes. Make me wonder a little. Make me want more. Keep me interested. I think I may be falling in love with you. Don't get emotional. Emotion takes away from what it is I'm trying to say. What I'm trying to say without saying it, is really saying what it is I want to say.

Long kiss....

She said...
Goodnight.

He said...
That's too obvious an ending. you'll say more by saying nothing.

Copyright (c) 2006 by dd

11 Comments:

Blogger Tammy said...

And men think woman are hard to please!
I like it, it was cute and telling to much can over kill it, I see.

Saturday, April 17, 2010 9:24:00 AM  
Blogger Tom Brown said...

Ummm....wow? Dunno if this is a good or bad date.

Better than half of mine.

Thursday, April 22, 2010 1:17:00 AM  
Blogger johngoldfine said...

I've never been on a date that did not feature at least one and sometimes two present or future English teachers.

Thursday, April 22, 2010 7:10:00 AM  
Blogger Aaron said...

All English teachers lie, I enjoyed reading that piece

Friday, November 12, 2010 7:03:00 PM  
Blogger johngoldfine said...

But I'm telling the truth, aaron!

Friday, November 12, 2010 10:54:00 PM  
Anonymous Fran T. said...

I hope this guy is not you. He is a real pain the ass to please. She is damned if did and damned if did not.

Saturday, November 13, 2010 12:52:00 PM  
Blogger johngoldfine said...

Actually, fran, a lot of the comments she put in the mouth of the English teacher were pretty much exactly the comments I'd been leaving on her blog--she just added a layer of snottiness I don't usually reach.

I AM a real pain in the ass, though.

Saturday, November 13, 2010 1:06:00 PM  
Anonymous jenkinslj9 said...

haha

Monday, November 29, 2010 8:15:00 PM  
Blogger Kristie Grant Canfield said...

WOW, now that's creative!

Monday, April 18, 2011 4:57:00 PM  
Blogger Tara said...

interesting... I like it.

Friday, April 29, 2011 10:04:00 PM  
Blogger Ranveer Patil said...

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Friday, December 18, 2015 5:03:00 AM  

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