Week 10 Theme: distance, framing, alienation

Use the ideas here as a springboard for a piece on your own blog.

Writers do not broadcast pearls of beauty and wisdom in the hopes that a reader will find them and appreciate them!

No, indeed, the writer has to be much more aggressive--he really has to get into the reader's head and play mind-games and force the reader to participate and collaborate in the writing. If the writer has to do everything, it's going to be a long day.

Here's an example from 101. Student is writing about grocery shopping. If she says 'cheese,' nothing happens in my head. There is no picture of cheese up there. Sorry 'bout that. But when she says, "Cheese for pizza: house-brand mozzarella, grated cheddar, and crumbled feta," great! We're in business. I picture a green rectangular bag of white mozzarella, a blue rectangular bag of orange cheddar, and little clear-plastic dish of dried-up feta. I will do that work for her. She doesn't need to add all that detail herself.

Every reader's mind responds to the chance to see mental images, one after the other, because it's a cheap, legal high.Sometimes, though, getting the reader to come out and play is trickier.

This week you're going to think about distancing techniques that pull the reader in.

'Distancing techniques that pull the reader in,' you say--how can you pull the reader in if you're pushing the reader away? Think grade school. How do you show someone of the opposite sex that you like them? Well, hitting them might be a good start! Think junior high. How do you show someone of the opposite sex that you like them? Pretending to not know they exist might be a good start! Think high school. How do you show someone of the opposite sex that you really like them? Pretending to like their best friend might be a good start!

It isn't til you grow up a little that you learn the more direct technique: "Hey, dearheart, wanna be my sweetie-pie?"

Sometimes you get the reader's attention by abusing the reader a little! Just like grade school!

Sometimes this is called 'alienating' or distancing the reader. Making the reader work a little for those pearls you are offering. One way of alienating is by playing with the time order of your material. Is it always right to start in the beginning? Ask moviemakers--they often start just as the hero's car goes over the cliff and then they fade to a long flashback that brings the story right to the car going over the cliff and then they continue the story to show how the hero gets out of the pickle he's in.

But it's an alienating technique because instead of just being swept along by the narrative, the technique forces the audience to say, 'Oh yeah, that was a teaser, and this is a flashback. We're going to have to remember that car and not be too impatient.'

Another alienating technique is the frame around material. Instead of just telling the damn story, the writer has someone else talk or talks about something not quite immediately and obviously relevant or does something offputting and confusing. Here's the opening of "Alexander Dolgun's Story":"One day in late 1948 a young American out for an innocent walk in the streets of Moscow was accosted by an operative of the MGB, the Soviet secret police. Had he been quick to run away through the crowded streets to the American embassy, only two blocks away, he would probably have been safe. Instead, he paused to answer the agent politely. Within seconds, the young man was a prisoner of the MGB. He would live under their shadow for the next twenty-three years."

That's straightforward-seeming third person narrative, but there's a catch: that young man was Alexander Dolgun, the writer. After the first few pages, the whole rest of the book is told in the first person. In fact, here's how the second chapter begins: "One day in late 1948 a young American out for an innocent walk in the streets of Moscow was accosted by an operative of the MGB."

Wait a sec! That's how he started Chapter One! Why is he alienating us, playing games with our heads, messing with our minds? He continues: "That is where the book begins so I come back to that day...." And on he goes.

But this is what he's done: he's said this is not just a begin-at-the-beginning roller-coaster ride of a story. He's saying: 'You've got to really work with me, folks; you've got to imagine my story from the outside, where I started, and you have to imagine it from the inside, as I'm about to detail. You've got to be agile because what you're about to hear is going to shake your notions about what makes people tick, so if you can't handle two identical openings to two different chapters, maybe you ought to check out now!"

So--he pulls us in by pushing us away.

The linked vingettes you did last week are essentially an alienating technique. Why not give the reader every last little detail? Why leave things hanging sometimes? Why start without a lot of explanation and end before the end? Why stick in apparently inconsequential details? Wy avoid commenting on the material? Why not connect the vignettes? Why ask so much of the reader?

Here's cindylou's linked vignettes from last week. How does she pull the reader in? By not telling us everything. By avoiding dealing with stuff directly. By letting skiing stand in for other things and forcing us to figure it out. By tossing green Dickies into a piece about cancer (why does she do that?)

(Because introducing the apparently inconsequential forces the reader into the picture, sometimes unwillingly. Because the humble can be huge if seen in the proper light. Because it forces the reader to slow down. In the movie 'Schindler's List' it's all black and white except for one vignette sequence where a little girl in a pink coat is shown--and we follow that girl and then her abandoned coat. Very effective. That's what 'inconsequential detail' can do.)

Because I Can

I make supper like it’s any other day. I’ve talked to friends and family. Convinced them that I’ll be fine. Try not to say cancer, just say lump. My husband comes through the door. Green Dickie work clothes laced with welding holes, lunch pail on counter. Dirty, tired like any other day. I drop the tomato-y spoon. I point to my neck, words yip out that make no sense.
******
In my mind think I’ll ski full and strong as I’ve done for years. Close to home this time in case it doesn’t go well. Weak and not admitting it. The skis slip ahead of the body and down I go. Terror strikes as my head falls back. Terror all out of proportion to the fall. Thirty stitches across the front of my throat hold. What did I think, that my head was going to fall off?
*****
Head strapped to the table. Nurses caring, touching, loving my hair. They are happy for me that I won’t lose it. They are more accustomed to older and balder. Or little bald children, children must be the worst. The nurses like me. I look healthy and happy. A nice break from their normal. Strange green and red lights. Hard to believe lights will kill cells.
******
Midnight all the time. Never have been so tired. People expect things I can’t deliver. Just too tired, can’t even explain how tired a strong, always been fit, in the prime of her life woman can be. Everyone so kind, but needing things. Needing me to be healthy. Needing me to be happy. Needing me to pretend. Just go, let me be. Let me be tired.
******
Skiing across the lake, heading for beautiful, snow capped Mt. Katahdin. Won’t really make it to the mountain, but I can ski toward it. Skiing hard and fast and alone, celebrating the fact that I can. Healthy sweat steaming up from the jacket, working too hard, going too far, because I can."

Copyright (c) 2009 by Cindylou

Here's an X-rated one from Pinot Prisoner using a framing device and shock tactics to alienate, with my comment attached.

I guess the first thing you should know is that I have no clue how many women I have slept with. At best guess I would say somewhere between 200 and 500. Ok, ok, I’m sure that sounds far fetched. However, think about it this way. I lost my virginity in a threesome with two women, I lived in Europe for the better part of four years and there were multiple days where I would sleep with someone I came home with from the club the night before and then take someone new home later that night when I went to another club. I’ve been borderline paranoid about using condoms; I can count the people I haven’t worn condoms with on one hand. I’ve been tested regularly every 6 months since 1996; that’s the full “rod” and blood tests and, so far so good.

I’ve never had more than 3 relationships last past 6 months…and I think that’s important for you to know. It’s not that I don’t want to share feelings, or share my life with someone. I think it’s mostly a defensive mechanism that I have. Push away before they can push me away. I’ve always had a low self esteem, and my divorce only acted as a catalyst to my downward spiral right before my cross country drive. I can honestly say that most of my “numbers come from Europe, Washington, and my cross country drive. Shit…18 women in two months. I slept with seven women in New Orleans alone, and I was only there for 10 days. All of them, every last one of them was only a glimpse of what I want and what I need in life. I believe as Casanova said, “Can you not love someone in more ways than one?” that I was using these chances to hold myself over until I found what I was looking for. I realize that there is no romanticism in this letter. I realize that there is absolutely nothing here that would make you want to give me a chance with you. I guess I just needed to put this out there to you for myself. I needed to take a chance and share what I consider to be my biggest flaw with the one person I trust, the one person I want to share more with…you.

I think I may feel something special for you; how do I avoid screwing this one up like I’ve done so many times before? I guess the easiest way is to tell you everything. This could be dangerous…why would I do such a thing? I guess it’s because the only other person in my life I have ever selflessly loved was someone that I felt safe enough to share all of this information with…and later I married her. I hope you can look past these faults from my past that I have laid out before you, and realize that I am trying to be as open with you as possible. I guess we’ll see in a few days.
posted by Pinot Prisoner at 11:24 PM on Nov 11, 2006


johngoldfine said...
This definitely is an approach to pulling them in by pushing them away. First you drop an anvil on their heads, then you offer to make the pain go away--exactly!

If I were an actual woman receiving this, though, I would say, 'Slick writing, but I'm not buying a word of it. No way do I want to be merely # 501.'



Your job this week is to play with one or the other or all of the tricks I've described: time order trickery or framing devices or linked vignette technique or anything else that does the trick--there are an infinite number of devices.

Late entry: I was reading a book review tonight and the reviewer is discussing the author's technique: "...we simultaneously find ourselves inside [the character's] head, seeing the world through his eyes, and also outside him.... [I]n many sentences the reader must figure out where in a welter of "he's" and "him's," [the character] is....

The point is not to create an insoluble puzzle but to make you, the reader, do a little work in order to orient yourself."

Yes! That last sentence explains what week 10 is all about: getting the reader to work with the writer.

So--thoughts or reactions to or comments on this theme?

Another late entry, March 25, 2012.  FWIW and in aid of further understanding of week 10, here's part of a comment I made on a student blog last night: 


"But, of course, audiences often exist to be abused and often find the experience exhilarating. Many a comedian and many a performance or installation artist has found abuse of an audience a successful and lucrative career move."  Week 10 is about that abusive (but stimulating) relationship with an audience!, where the audience actually becomes a part of the performance or of the thing being read!